This question surfaced from a recent conversation my husband and I shared with my mother-in-law. Our children laughingly disclosed how their Granny?s behavior was a little less granny-like on a few occasions. As our girls laughed and recalled several situations where all of their grandparents (Granny, Grandma and Papa) displayed behaviors outside of their normal character, we were tickled as well (my husband not so much).
But things like random swearing and the use of other negative language sound like the people we have known all our lives. I guess because our children don?t hear it from us ever and not all that often from their grandparents, a curse word here or there shocks them slightly, as it should. While these are the behaviors that were more frequent when we were coming up, I notice that our parents try to tailor their words for the sake of our children, which we both greatly appreciate. But I guess sometimes there are those moments they just can?t help.
Their efforts to be awesome grandparents don?t go unnoticed. Ever notice how the grandparents are not the exact same people who raised you? They seem a lot nicer, calmer and even seem to have more patience. They don?t yell nearly as much or discipline as harshly as I remember. The same amount of love is still present of course. So when the children share these stories and while our parents may look a little embarrassed about how they?ve behaved, I am not at all surprised.
My husband and I don?t curse, but growing up we both had parents who would quickly get us told and yes curse words were included. Because we avoid using that language, we would prefer that our parents would refrain from them also. I know there are times when a child will take you there and test your patience, and a curse word does, unfortunately, always get attention. But having those conversations with our parents can be slightly touchy.
When we advise on what and when to feed our child, how to dress the child and what type of medication needs to be administered when they are in their care, I wonder if our parenting tips to our parents show a lack of trust in their skills. Especially once we add how we want them to talk and behave around our children. I mean, they have done this all before and even though times have changed the basics of parenting are still pretty much the same. I am sure they are thinking ?If you have all those requirements maybe you should stay home with your own child.? Knowing that our parents, for the most part successfully raised us, should we allow them to grandparent the way they see fit? What is our worst fear if they were to take care of our children the same way they took care of us? In the end we know that however they decide to nurture our children it will be coming from a place of love. That?s why I am able to chuckle on the rare occasions my children share those stories. My husband and I are extremely blessed to have loving parents who are willing to go to the ends of the earth for us and our children. I am completely confident in the type of care they will provide, a few curse words and all.
BMWK, have you had to tell your parents how to grandparent your children?
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